#Lovewins 06.26.2015

I am not one of those girls who grew up planning her wedding. Let's face it I never thought I'd be able to have one. My mother used to say I would get married in a field wearing farmer overalls since I was such a Tomboy. I knew she was wrong, I was never getting married.....at least not to a guy.

I knew I was gay pretty much from 8 years old, remember the Bionic Woman, I was totally in love with her, but I didn't know what that meant. The realization I was gay came later.

I didn't struggle with it, I didn't hate myself for it. I came out to my mom when I was 16 and had a girlfriend in high school. I thought we'd last forever; we didn't, but the thought of marriage never crossed my mind.

When states started legalizing same-sex marriage my partner and I discussed getting married. It wouldn't be recognized in our home state nor on the federal level and I felt like we would be cheated. Sure she'd be my wife in Massachusetts, but not in North Carolina and not in the eyes of my country's federal government. Then DOMA was struck down and we talked about it again, but she'd still not be my wife in North Carolina. I said no, not yet, maybe when it's legal in our home state. Then on October 10, 2014 (interestingly, my parents' 61st wedding anniversary) it was legal in North Carolina and my parents anniversary.......almost did it.....but what if we had to move to a state that hadn't legalized same sex marriage? Again, she wouldn't be my wife everywhere.

I said no again. I wanted to wait until my marriage would be recognized and legal in all 50 of the United States. After 23 years together did we really need to get married?

Then today happened and I got a text.....

I have some planning to do..........