Fear

A couple of weeks ago I saw this quote:

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear”

-Jack Canfield

That quote got me to thinking about fear and how it effects decisions and ultimately life.

fear

ˈfir/

verb

verb: fear; 3rd person present: fears; past tense: feared; past participle: feared; gerund or present participle: fearing

1.      be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening.

"he said he didn't care about life so why should he fear death?"

synonyms:

be afraid of, be fearful of, be scared of, be apprehensive of, dread, live in fear of, be terrified of;

Everyone is afraid of something; the dark, big bugs, getting lost, success, failure…..the list goes on and on. I have plenty of things I am afraid of, most of which are irrational. I have a fear of not fitting in an airplane seat (I can), talking to people I don’t know (ironic since I manage a team.…in a call center). There are plenty more, but you get the idea. 

Something I’ve been afraid of for most of my life isn’t necessarily irrational. I’ve been afraid of looking foolish. I’m not certain when it started, maybe when I moved away from the neighborhood I spent most of my early life? I went from a city block with 30 kids to a street with 5 houses and 3 kids. Quite the change. I had to go to a new school where I didn’t know anyone. I used to know everyone, I used to talk to everyone, I never worried about looking foolish; I acted foolish on purpose, just to get a laugh.

That outgoing, boisterous, silly kid was replaced by one who observed, remained quiet, flew under the radar and was afraid of making a mistake. Maybe it was just my personality morphing into something new and would have happened anyway, maybe it was fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of not being liked, fear of a new place, fear of pretty much all of it. Eventually I grew comfortable with my new school, made new friends and I was no longer always quiet. But I still feared looking stupid or foolish.

I don’t like to take chances; it can make you look stupid. I try to say I don’t care what other people think of me, for the most part that is true, I just don’t want anyone to think I am stupid or foolish. 

That feeling ripples through your life from the mundane (drafting an e-mail to a co-worker) to the epic (meeting someone whom you hero worship) and can cause regret and my personal demon: envy.

I am envious of people who are unafraid. 

I had an epiphany. I always thought jealousy was my demon, turns out its envy fueled by fear.

Everything I want is on the other side of fear;  I plan on making it to the other side.

Join me on this next adventure: The road to fearless!

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